When Fr Gerard Mulholland SVD found out a few months ago that he had late-stage Motor Neurone Disease, he was angry with God. Now, with his faith to sustain him, Fr Gerard says he is looking forward to heaven, but, with the loving care of family, confreres and friends, is still enjoying every day on earth as much as he can.
“I was very angry with God for a couple of weeks,” he says.
“I’ve been a bit crook for the last couple of years, I’ve gone through a bit, and so when this happened, I said to God ‘what more crap can you pour on me?’
“But then I remembered that when my mum was dying from cancer of the oesophagus, I was so angry and I went to visit her one day and I said, ‘why you?’ And her answer straight back to me, was ‘why not me?’ And that pulled me up.
“So really, it’s the same with me. Why not me?
“Now, I can honestly say that I’m looking forward to where I’m going. At least, I hope I know where I’m going!” he laughs. “And if heaven is as good as they say it is, and I reckon it is, then it’ll be pretty good.”
Motor Neurone Disease is a progressive degenerative disease that affects muscular function. Its hallmark is the selective death of motor neurons in the brain and spinal cord, which leads to paralysis of voluntary muscles, such as those muscles we use to move, speak, swallow and breathe. The mind usually remains alert and active. There is no known cause or treatment.
Fr Gerard says he now realises he probably experienced his first symptoms eight years ago, during his diaconate in Central Australia.
“I started to get pins and needles in my fingers and thought it was a pinched nerve in my neck,” he says. “In hindsight, it was probably the first symptoms of this MND.”
Seven months ago, Fr Gerard lost the movement in one arm. He had also been experiencing clumsiness and had taken a few falls.
Eventually, after some initial misdiagnosis, he was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease and placed under the care of the leading MND specialist, Professor Dominic Rowe at Macquarie Private Hospital in Sydney, very close to the SVD Marsfield community, where he now resides.
“I’m actually very grateful that I didn’t know I had MND all those years,” he says “If I knew five years ago that I was living with it every day, it would have been much worse.”
Fr Gerard, who was born and raised in Maryborough, Queensland, says he has loved his time as a missionary, having joined the SVD at age 42.
“Before I joined I was an Occupational Health and Safety Officer at Maryborough City Council,” he says.
Prior to that, he worked in occupational health and safety at a mine in Cobar, NSW and before that he was an ambulance driver.
“As a young man I had really given the Church away,” he says.
"My father had been killed and my mother died of cancer and I just thought, ‘what sort of a God have we got?’”
That all changed one Christmas Eve when, as an ambulance officer, he was called to a terrible accident south of Maryborough.
“Everyone was killed except for one lady, but she was trapped inside the car and I couldn’t get to her,” he says. “So I said to her, ‘Is there anything I can do to help you?’ She replied that she would like to see a Catholic priest.
“Well, it was five minutes to midnight on Christmas Eve, and I thought to myself, where am I going to get a priest at this hour? They’ll all be saying Midnight Mass.
“Just then, a car pulled up and a man got out of the car, walked over to us and said, ‘I’m a Catholic priest. Is there anything I can do to help here?’
“That’s when the penny dropped for me, and that incident got me back to Church.”
Having returned to the faith, Fr Gerard then joined the St Vincent de Paul Society, progressing through to state council level. At one stage, he went to Papua New Guinea with Vinnies to help look after the people during a terrible drought.
“For years I had thought about becoming a priest,” he says. “But I thought I liked a beer and a smoke. When I got up there, I met priests who smoked and did not mind a beer,” he chuckles.
“Anyway, I was talking to the Archbishop one day and he said, ‘why don’t you join?’ So I did.”
After completing his studies and missionary training in Sydney and Melbourne, Fr Gerard took final vows and was ordained to the priesthood, before taking up his first missionary assignment in PNG.
“I loved it in PNG,” he says. “I worked in the Western Highlands, in Mount Hagen Archdiocese. I would’ve stayed there the rest of my life if I was healthy.
“Archbishop Doug Young (of Mount Hagen) is one of the best bosses I’ve ever had. He made a special trip down from PNG to see me this week. That really shook me up. I was pretty emotional about that. Fancy coming all that way to see me? He’s one of nature’s true gentlemen.”
After his three years in PNG, Fr Gerard returned to Melbourne, where he was Director of the Janssen Spirituality Centre. He was then assigned to Hamilton parish in Brisbane, and finally to Inala parish.
“I loved it all,” he said. “I’ve really loved Inala, where I’ve been most recently. The people there, and the kids, they’ve all been great. It’s a very vibrant parish. We have five masses each weekend, each with 600 people attending. Actually, that’s where I want to be buried from.”
Fr Gerard has told doctors he does not wish to have any overly-burdensome or futile treatment or intervention. He has been told that probably within weeks, as breathing becomes more difficult, his palliative care will necessitate gradual sedation.
He has given permission for his brain and spinal chord to be donated after his death to assist with much-needed research into the disease.
As he deals with his illness, Fr Gerard is taking much pleasure from visits from family, confreres and friends.
“I get great consolation out of people who come to see me,” he says. "Especially those who come without sympathising, but rather, are empathising.
“My family have been to visit and I’ve had great support from my confreres, especially Henry (Provincial, Fr Henry Adler). And Fr Wim Valckx, who lives here, comes in every night to join in night prayer with me. Other times, he’ll just visit and we’ll just sit here in companionable silence together.”
Fr Gerard says that in these days, it is his faith that has sustained him.
“As priests and Christians, if we preach that we’ve got to accept the crosses that we’re given, and then if I don’t accept the cross myself, I’m a bit of a hypocrite. And so I have accepted this cross.
“If I thought that this was the end and there’s nothing after this, then I’d be going through a terrible time now,” he says. “Instead, I can really say, and mean it, that I’m looking forward to heaven.”
PHOTOS
TOP RIGHT: Fr Gerard, photographed recently at the SVD Marsfield community.
MIDDLE LEFT: Fr Gerard with the local children after Mass at Ambung, PNG.
MIDDLE RIGHT: Fr Gerard celebrating Mass in PNG.
BOTTOM LEFT: Fr Gerard, pictured in Queensland, with Fr Ho Bach Tran SVD and Bishop Brian Finnigan, Auxiliary Bishop of Brisbane.