Fourth Sunday of Advent

Matthew 1:18-25

There was a story of a man who was deeply devoted to St Joseph and when he died he was at the gates of heaven and being interviewed by St Peter. St Peter, after assessing the record of this man declined him entry to heaven straightaway, but the man argued that he was a St Joseph devotee. Then at the gate appeared St Joseph. St Peter said that he couldn’t let the man enter because he doesn’t pray to anyone else but only to St Joseph. Then St Joseph argued that it is just but the same. However, St Peter argued that it is not acceptable. So these two great saints debated. Exasperated, St Joseph said, “Well, if you will not let this man enter heaven, I’ll take my wife and my boy and we’ll move heaven somewhere else.” St Peter finally gave in and let this St Joseph devotee enter heaven.

In Jewish tradition, there are three stages of getting married. First is the courtship period. It is where the man and the woman get to know each other. During those times, marriages are often arranged between families. So the courtship period is a time where the future bride and groom get to know each other. Then after negotiations between the two families, the bride and the groom become betrothed. Now, being betrothed is a very unique situation. In our modern society the closest thing that we have is “engagement”, where the soon-to-be bride and groom have agreed to get married. Betrothal is a bit different - the man and the woman already sign a marriage contract which make them technically married but they are not allowed to stay in the same house for a year if the woman is a virgin and six months if the woman is a widow. Then after that prescribed period the couple can now have a marriage ceremony and there’s feasting for the whole village, which can last for a week. However, in the case of Mary and Joseph, they were still in the betrothal stage when Mary became pregnant by the Holy Spirit.

To the credit of Joseph, he didn’t act in haste. He must have thought about what he would want to do for quite a long time before coming to a decision. As they were technically married already, Joseph could have had Mary stoned to death because of adultery. However, Joseph decided not to press charges and he would just divorce Mary silently. And yet, before taking action on his plans, an angel appeared to him in a dream and told him take Mary as his wife. And I believe it was not an easy decision. Taking Mary as his wife was actually the harder decision as Joseph would endure the insults of his neighbours who would believe that they had slept together before the prescribed period. Or even worse, people would think that Joseph was marrying Mary even if Mary was pregnant with a child that was not from Joseph. However, we know that Joseph did the right thing.

We have a saying that if we have a problem that we’re having trouble solving, we just need to “sleep on it”. Joseph “slept” on his problems not because he gave up thinking about it but he knew that through dreams God would talk to him. And true enough; it was through sleeping and dreaming that he received messages from the angel on what to do. Sometimes, we are also asked to do the same. It is through dreaming that we are helped with our future plans. We dream on many things, our careers, our families, and our plans for our children, and many more. And if we lose this ability to dream, we would be a lesser person.

Another important aspect in this story is how sometimes God seems to “interfere” with our plans. Just imagine, Joseph and Mary must have had their own plans for themselves. They might have been imagining a lifetime of being together with several children living in the quiet rural town of Nazareth. But all that changed with this event. However, Joseph was assured that the child that would be born was “Emmanuel, God is with us”.

There are two lessons that I think we can derive from this momentous event. First, Joseph knows how to “sleep on it”. He has the patience and the ability to not take drastic action as he is an honourable man. Second, while we have our own plans in our lives, sometimes God “disrupts” them to make us a better person and God must have a better plan for us. And even if things seem so confusing and to a point incomprehensible, let us remember one thing: Emmanuel, God is with us.